Why do people cheat? One train of thought says that everyone cheats if given a chance. It’s just human nature.
Another train of thought suggests that only immoral, unscrupulous people cheat. And those few are rotten to the core. But if only one contradictory explanation can be correct, which is it?
When you’re ready to learn why people commit adultery so you can finally find peace with your situation, read on.
1. Neglect and Loveless Relationships
If a partner feels a relationship is devoid of love, that partner is more likely to have an affair. These partners often feel as if, without love, there is no relationship. They seek love from others to fill that gap in their own lives.
Those who feel this lovelessness also tend to have longer affairs, and on average, women have longer affairs than men. However, studies show that more men than women act unfaithfully.
According to research from the University of Colorado, on average, 13% of women act unfaithfully and 20% of men. Those numbers might be lower than the real numbers because studies have shown that some folks don’t report their cheating.
Another major cause of marriage problems and other relationship problems is anger. Whether an unfaithful partner is upset over money, hurt feelings, or their own partner’s infidelity, they choose to get back at them by having a fling.
Notice we used the word “fling” rather than “affair.” A fling suggests a brief period of cheating. An affair connotates a longer period, often filled with a deeper connection. Interestingly, these partners usually have intercourse and fess up to their partners about the fling.
In one study of 495 participants who cheated in their relationship, only about 50% reported having vaginal intercourse. The others confessed to things like kissing, masturbation, or oral sex.
3. Lack of Commitment
Have you heard of relationships in which one partner is more committed to the relationship than the other? Well, this lack of commitment apparently opens the doors for cheating partners.
A low commitment or lack of commitment is a surefire sign that at least one partner isn’t in it for the long haul. Instead, a cheating husband, cheating wife, or cheating partner, sees their relationship ending sooner rather than later. That leaves them inclined to take advantage of other sexual opportunities when they come along.
If you get a chance, read this blog by Dad Starting Over, as it does a great job explaining clear indications of this lack of commitment.
Variety is a big issue, especially for young couples and partners that don’t share similar libidos. Some experts suggest young couples are more curious than older couples because they haven’t experienced as many partners. They want to see what they’re missing out on.
Others with high libidos want to branch out more. They have a divested interest.
5. Unusual Circumstances
What if a couple is living apart because of work? Or they’re “on a break?” What if one partner finds she’s uncertain about her sexual preferences?
Cheating can’t be simplified into neat little boxes. Some circumstances seem to make life untenable, so one partner (or both) seeks to fill a void with intimacy outside of their relationship.
So Tell Me Why Do People Cheat?
In short, why do people cheat?
Because they made a mistake. Because they wanted to. They cheat for any number of reasons.
Unfortunately, there’s no clear-cut reason. If you find yourself in such a situation, the only way to discover the answer is to ask your partner yourself.
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